Raw Thoughts on Breaking My First Bone

I went through almost the first eighteen years of my life without breaking a single bone.

I turn eighteen today, and exactly a week before hitting adulthood, I fractured the fifth metatarsal shaft in my left foot.

When I fell, I never imagined that I had broken a bone. See, I had always imagined that breaking a bone would be the worst physical pain imaginable. At the moment of my fracture, I didn’t even cry.

But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t cry at the moment of reading my x-ray report or that I haven’t shed more tears of frustration since.

This was supposed to be my senior track season, and after months of hard training, I wanted it to be my best one. After an overall difficult senior year, I wanted it to be the best part.

In a single moment, I lost all of it.

Every day, I my thoughts continue to return to the point of my misstep, wishing that I could go back and undo it. Soon after reading the x-ray report, Psalm 91:11-12 came to my mind, and I asked God why He hadn’t sent His angels to break my fall.

“For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways.
¹² On their hands they will bear you up,
    lest you strike your foot against a stone.”

~ Psalm 91:11-12, ESV

Not long afterward, I found out that if I had broken a slightly different part of my foot, the injury would have been far worse. I broke an area that receives plenty of bloodflow, plenty of opportunities for healing. Nearby parts are connected to joints and arteries, so a break in one of those parts would have required a far harder healing process.

As I reflected this, I began to thank God, and this thought suddenly hit me: His angels had protected me after all.

I turned back to Psalm 91:11-12 in my Bible and remembered that these verses were also misquoted during Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness, when Satan tried to convince Jesus to throw Himself down from the pinnacle of the temple (See Matthew 4). The passage convicted me of how easy it is to misunderstand God’s guarantee to protect us.

It also led me to the previous chapter (Matthew 3), in which a voice from heaven spoke over Jesus, “This is my Son, with whom I am well pleased (Matthew 3:17). 2 Peter 1 reminds us that when we accepted Jesus “we ourselves heard this very voice borne from heaven, for we were with Him on the holy mountain” (2 Peter 1:18). We too are God’s children, with whom He is well pleased.

But we are also the children whom He disciplines, as I remember in my favorite passage, Hebrews 12:

“It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?”

~ Hebrews 12:7, ESV

In what I don’t see as a coincidence, my daily Bible reading passage had me read Hebrews 12 on the exact day that I fractured my foot.

I just read it again for inspiration, and another verse stood out to me:

“Make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.”

~ Hebrews 12:12, ESV

Reading this verse again brought tears to my eyes. It felt like a little reminder of God’s protection. A little reminder that my bone had been saved from being put out of joint, and that healing will happen if I only wait.

Waiting is hard. Healing is hard. Right now, every day is hard.

If I could go back and undo that misstep, I would do so in a heartbeat.

But I also know that God is still writing my story, and that this trial will only increase my testimony.

Please join me in prayer as I wait for the pages to turn.