The Prayer That God Answered “No”

Encouragement

The other day I came across a prayer that I had written down back in middle school.

I had completely forgotten about the prayer. Looking at it, my request was trivial and perhaps selfish, but I knew that it meant a lot to the anxious eighth-grader who was working her body to its limits.

See, it was the day before the home meet that cross-country season, and I wanted to do well in front of my school. I had also been experiencing a plateau for a long time, and I hoped to finally see some improvement.

All week, I spent my days worrying about how I would perform. My worries led me to that prayer.

So I asked to place third in the league as I had done in the previous meets, to PR, to do well in front of my school…

Instead, I crossed the finish line with a hip injury.

Yeah. God gave me a pretty hard “no.”

And while the passing years have caused me to forget that I ever wrote a prayer the night before that race, I can still oh-so-clearly recall the hurt I felt after that race.

I still remember forcing myself to go to swim practice that night. It was my way of regulating my disappointment. Maybe I thought that training harder would make me a better athlete, or maybe I thought that I had failed and deserved some kind of punishment.

Either way, I had to do too many dolphin kicks in that pool, and it only made my hip tighter.

I vividly remember coming home that night and then lying on my bedroom floor, tears streaming down my face.

The injury hurt, but I could bear that pain. It was my failure that hurt more, that brought me to the floor, that brought me to tears.

And then I remember my dad saw me there. “It hurts,” I said, looking up at him. Somehow, he knew that I wasn’t talking so much about the injury as I was talking about my frustration.

And I don’t even remember what he said to me, but I do remember that it made me feel seen.

It gave me a little picture of how our heavenly Father responds to our pain. “It hurts,” I would tell God many times after that. “It hurts,” I would often pray as I looked up from my bedroom floor.

He saw me there, every time.

And sometimes, my broken little prayers didn’t get answered in the way that I had begged. Sometimes, I got a hard “no”–as I did when I got that hip injury.

But God saw me there, and He wanted to treat me as His daughter (Hebrews 12:7). He understood me so well that He knew exactly how to respond.

And sometimes the best response, I’ve found, is a “no.”

In the case of the injury, you could say that His “no” ended up changing my life.

At first, it worsened my already destructive cycle. In the later months, it brought me into a really hard place as I spent all winter trying to reconcile my failure, all spring trying to push through pain, and all summer trying to recover from it.

But then, coming out of that cycle changed me as a person. It brought me closer to God. It led me to start this blog. And it made me start considering a career in physical therapy or sports medicine.

God used that “no” so that I could say “yes” to far greater callings.

I still remember how much the injury and failure and disappointment hurt. Yet when I found this old handwritten prayer, I caught myself smiling about it. Chuckling softly to myself about it, even.

Because what had once felt like this awful setback became something that I could turn into a story.

God knew what He was doing when He said no.

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27 thoughts on “The Prayer That God Answered “No””

  1. “God used that “no” so that I could say “yes” to far greater callings.“

    I love this so much! It’s such a great reminder that no matter how hard life gets, God is still holding us and orchestrating our lives in a way we could never do for ourselves. ❤️

    Reply

  4. A beautiful post, Alannah. God works in wonderful ways. And he works all things for the good of those who love him.

    You mentioned how that hip injury has caused you to consider a career where you would be helping others through something you have experienced yourself. Isn’t it amazing how God uses the hard things we go through to equip us to help others through similar situations? I’ve seen God do this with bad things in my own life, and it is incredible!

    Again, lovely post. Well written!

    Reply

  6. So true – I really do need to remember that God knows what He’s doing. I was so disappointed when i was in an accident a week before cross country started after training all summer, but it really made me appreciate the ability to run and even walk more. Thank you for the reminder and for sharing your experience!

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  8. “what had once felt like this awful setback became something that I could turn into a story.”
    Beautiful line…thank you <3. That happens oh so often in my own life, too.

    Reply
  13. Pingback: 10 Ways My Prayer Life Changed for the Better - Let's Run Free

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