Running Alone: You Weren’t Made To Keep Up with the World

Whenever I stand at the line of a track meet, my heart races about one particular fear: That I’ll end up running alone.

Too often, I’ve made my around the bend all by myself. The pack has left me behind.

Sometimes it’s because they started too quickly, or because they’re a particularly fast group. Most often, it’s because I’m having a bad day.

Even if I still have several laps to go, I quickly lose hope that I’ll ever catch them again.

I want to give up at that moment.

Shame nags at me. I imagine the eyes of the crowd staring directly at me, wondering why I can’t keep up.

You can’t keep up because you’re not good enough, my mind screams.

Sheer willpower forces me to keep going, but in those moments, I want to disappear.

A similar process runs through my head in social situations. If I have to walk through that door alone, and then end up standing alone for more than five minutes while everyone else is talking to their friends, my thoughts have already switched to anxiety mode.

And more than anything, I want to disappear.

It sounds needy and desperate, I know. It’s an unhealthy fear that I’m working to overcome.

But I’ve seen the same pressure take place in the lives of those around me. This pressure to keep up and fit in.

What if our hearts could finally realize that our worth doesn’t lie in our success and popularity?

Sometimes, this pressure to keep up also becomes the burden that holds me back.

Running your own race

I remember talking to a coach about my problem of obsessing over everyone around me in a race. I explained how my rivals could get into my head, how falling behind made me want to give up…

And her answer? Well, it was predictable. But it was also something I needed to put into practice, not just in running, but in life.

Run your own race.

Once I started paying attention to everyone around me, I let insecurity get the best of me.

What I’ve noticed during races is that everyone tries to keep up with lead pack. A few runners set the pace, and everyone else follows, hanging on for as long as they can.

The same happens with life. Everyone tries to be like somebody else. Everyone wants to keep up and fit in…

But what if there’s a better way?

I’ll never forget the first race I ran in high school. After too many eighth-grade track moments of falling way behind in the mile, the two-mile cross-country invite terrified me.

As I warmed up near the start line, a senior on my team pulled me aside. “There are a lot of other freshmen in your race,” she explained, “and the freshmen tend to go out way too fast. In the beginning, just let them go. Later in the race you can worry about passing them.”

She said a prayer with me, and peace washed over me. When the gun went off, I let everyone else pass.

Later, I started taking them down one by one.

By the end of the race, I finished in second.

Whenever I reflect on this, I think about just how much courage it must’ve taken me to hang in the back instead of going out with the lead group.

It’s hard to hold back. It’s hard to let everyone rush past you and leave you behind.

And it’s hard to trust that a change will take place by the end.

Running down a different road

As Christians, the same struggle happens just by living in the world.

The world may rush past us, but we’re not running their race. We may not attain their idea of success, but that’s not our pursuit.

We’re seeking an eternal prize, yet it’s so easy to get caught up in chasing after their wind.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been studying 1 Samuel. This book describes a people chosen by God Himself, yet they rejected the blessing of His leadership.

They were chosen–set apart–and yet…

They wanted to blend in with everyone else.

“And they said, ‘No! But there shall be a king over us, that we also may be like all the nations, and that our king may judge us and go out before us and fight our battles.'”

~1 Samuel 8:19-20

When I read this verse, the phrase “be like all the nations” convicted me.

How many times have I asked those similar words, Why can’t I be like everybody else?

How many times have I felt so desperate to belong that I value other people’s thoughts over those of my Creator?

And how many times have I thought I was running alone when, in reality, He was always by my side, going before me and fighting my battles?

More than anything, we want to be seen, known, and loved.

If we can’t find satisfaction in God’s love–the only perfect love–how can we expect to find satisfaction, or refuge or hope, in anyone else?

People’s cheering shouldn’t be what keeps us going, and their silence shouldn’t be what makes us stop.

When it seems like the rest of the world can find satisfaction elsewhere, know that their hope is empty. It’s okay to fall behind in their race–You weren’t made to keep up with the world.

Because you–you’re walking down a different road. A better road. One that will lead to real fulfillment.

It’s the road less traveled by.

Marks of a true friend

And yet, this road doesn’t have to be lonely. We have God’s constant presence (See Psalm 139), and we can also find healthy fellowship.

Over the years, I’ve finally realized that real friendship never asks you to keep up with the pack. A real friend will care about you through it all, whether you’re injured or crying or failing or winning.

The real friends are the ones who stay, even when you’ve fallen behind.

The ones who find you at the starting line to remind you not to give up, even if everyone rushes ahead of you. The ones who see you at the finish line to encourage you, even if you couldn’t run your best race.

These are the real friends. The ones who find you, see you, show you a little glimmer of the never-changing love of Christ.

These are the real friends. The ones you hold in your heart every time you run down the trail alone, because their care means that much to you.

They’re the ones who stay when the world walks away, and they’re the ones who hope when the world looks dark.

Because they’re different in spirit (See Num. 14:24). Different in the most beautiful way possible.

They’re running their own race, yet never failing to see the other runners on life’s road–especially the lone ones.

They’re running their own race, and never failing to shine as lights, because they know that they were never meant to be like everybody else.

They were never meant to blend in with the dark.

And neither were you (Matt. 5:16).

Don’t be ashamed to lose the lead pack at your next track meet.

Or to walk by yourself through the door of your next social event.

Or to take the road less traveled by.

The toughest runners are the ones who will keep fighting for that finish line, even when everyone else has left them behind.

Don’t be ashamed to run alone, my reader.